Isn't She Lovely
What Happens When The Most Beautiful Woman In The Room Isn't You
As Helen Fisher, Ph.D., biological anthropologist and author of Why Him? Why Her? How to Find and Keep Lasting Love, explains, "We are drawn to people who have the same degree of attractiveness because we share similar lifestyles with them. We eat at the same restaurants. We shop at the same stores. We have the same kinds of problems with boys."
In other words, in an ideal world, all your friends would be modified versions of—to rely on the Sex and the City paradigm—Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda and Carrie, each successful and attractive in her own way. Socially, you'd be at the same level, valuing the same things, both in yourself and in others. You'd be in similar leagues and on parallel paths, making the same mistakes at different times. In short, you'd balance each other out.
Unfortunately, real life isn't an HBO television show that neatly wraps up in a 15-episode season. And when you meet your friends for dinner, although the mood is friendly to the point of giddiness, underneath it all, a different kind of energy is teeming.
Like secret agents, you and the others discreetly scan the room, assessing the prospects. For you, there are one or two potentials, but no one who screams, "Yes, I'm him!"
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