17 worst things to say in a wedding speech
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Awkward...1 of 18
By Brienne Walsh
We know how tricky it is to strike the right balance of sincerity and humor in a wedding toast. Add to that equation two shots of tequila and a few glasses of champagne, and things can go wrong, very wrong. To help you save face (and avoid the wrath of the mother of the bride), we're counting down the 17 worst things you could say in your speech.
The Rough Start2 of 18
"When I first met the groom, I didn't like him all that much."
The "Gee, Thanks" Quip3 of 18
"We were beginning to worry that you were never going to get married."
The Never-ending Story4 of 18
"I only have a couple pages left."
The Breakup Crack5 of 18
"The last time you guys broke up, we were all sure it was over. But look how wrong we were."
The Anti-Marriage Remark6 of 18
"To a thrilling lifetime together spent watching thousands upon thousands of hours of television!"
The Downer7 of 18
"I'm really happy that we're all here to celebrate today, but I'd like to take a moment of silence to remember the 1 billion people who live in chronic hunger everyday."
The Memory Best Left Forgotten8 of 18
"Remember that time in college when we made out?"
The No-Filter Comment9 of 18
"I know shouldn't say this, but it's really great that your husband is so rich."
The Doomsday Two-Cents10 of 18
"If it doesn't work out, I know a really good lawyer."
The Cheating Tip11 of 18
"One word of advice: Wait until you have kids before you cheat."
The Divorce Dig12 of 18
"May this marriage turn out better than your first one."
The Ex Mention13 of 18
"I remember when you said your ex-boyfriend was the love of your life, and I'm happy you found another one."
The Dagger Compliment14 of 18
"I honestly don't know how you snagged this guy. You're so lucky, I can't believe it."
The Big Slip15 of 18
"Congratulations on the baby! Oh wait, have you started telling people?"
The Show-Stealer16 of 18
"To my sister, I'm so excited to share some wonderful news with you on such a special day: I'm pregnant!"
The Inappropriate Joke17 of 18
"May all your ups and downs be between the sheets."
The Really Inappropriate Joke18 of 18
"There's a saying that the length of the best man's toast is how long the groom will last on his wedding night. (Pause.) Cheers!"
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