How to End a Friendship With Class
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Over & Out1 of 8
By Dara Adeeyo for Cosmopolitan
Having really great girlfriends is the best. They can offer you dating advice and share a drink or two with you. But sometimes, friendships come to an end. Breaking up with your boyfriend is the worst, but breaking up with your friend can be even tougher. Shasta Nelson, a life coach and C.E.O. of GirlFriendCircles.com, walks you through the important steps on how to end a friendship.
1. See the Signs2 of 8
If you notice that she makes you feel worse about yourself, time to reevaluate. The sooner you can see that you're in a friendship that isn't serving you in a positive way, the sooner you can either fix your relationship or part ways.
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2. Try a Break3 of 8
Perhaps you need to cut back on the time you guys spend together. When you hangout with someone a lot, you can also become irked by their quirks you once loved. Try only seeing each other once a month instead of weekly. Cutting back on time together will help you decide if you want to continue your friendship or not.
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3. Think It Through4 of 8
Pretend for a sec that you and your friend were dating and ask yourself, "Would I break up with a guy over these things? Would I try to talk about it first with him? Would I do a better job expressing my expectations and needs? Would I give the relationship another chance?" Do this and you'll be able to see if the friendship is worth fighting for.
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4. Talk It Out5 of 8
Conflicts happen. However, if you've been friends for some time, have that awkward conversation to squash whatever problems you guys have. It's better to solve your issues than to just walk away. Holding a grudge is lame and real friends care to work it out.
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5. Rift or Drift6 of 8
There are two types of friendship breakups: a rift and a drift. A rift is when something happened that breaks the trust and thus the relationship. A drift is when nothing specifically happens, but you don't find the relationship to have any purpose in your life, so you two just drift apart. Understanding the difference between the two is important because then you can decide how much energy you want to pour into saving the friendship. Often a Drift doesn't require a conversation, but ideally a Rift would always have one.
6. Take Some Time7 of 8
The friendship is now over, but you're kind of sad. That's normal. The ending of any relationship will leave you feeling bummed. Someone you once spent so much time with is no longer in your life. It's okay to take some time to be upset and cry a little about the situation. However, don't dwell too much. It is what it is and you'll have to move on with life.
7. Be Polite8 of 8
Despite your friendship ending, you two had great times together at one point. If you see her at a party or out and about, don't be rude and ignore her. Smile, ask her how she's doing, and go about your business. Just because you two aren't friends anymore doesn't mean you can't have manners.
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