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How to Agree to Disagree

Sometimes couples who fight together, stay together—and they're better for it

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  • David Lees/Getty Images

    A couple that has knockdown, drag-out fights about "potato" vs. "po-tah-to" probably should just call the whole thing off. And there are certainly big arguments that can be deal-breakers (I want to live in the city vs. I want to be a hermit). But there are plenty of disagreements that are OK, even productive to have. Here are eight fundamental arguments my girlfriend and I have where we've agreed to disagree.

    1. Problems With Authority

    The Fight: Recently, my girlfriend and I were planning a trip together. She kept wanting to do all the research online—reading user comments, asking forums, etc.—and I kept wanting to just buy a damn guidebook. The same thing happens when we're choosing a restaurant: I listen to the newspaper and local magazines; she only believes in the world according to Yelp.

    The Fundamental Disagreement: Ultimately, this is about which authority we believe. I trust the published, vetted sources, whereas she trusts real people and popular consensus.

    How We Deal: We've both tried to get more comfortable using the other person's methods. And we don't allow any one source—whether it's The New York Times or jasminelovesbacon93—to make or break our plans.

How to Agree to Disagree
Sometimes couples who fight together, stay together—and they're better for it
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