Bad News Beau
What You Shouldn't Say to a Pal Who's in a Toxic Relationship
"You really need to start dating nice guys."
Perhaps your pal dates dud after dud—only to end up brokenhearted and bitter after each relationship inevitably ends. As a friend, it can be hard to watch from the sidelines as someone you care about goes through this over and over, and frustrating when the problem is so clear to you. To help your friend see the light—and help her recognize her pattern—Yager suggests saying that her new relationship seems very much like her previous relationships and that, when she talks about her current boyfriend, she sounds as if she is describing her previous ones as well. "If she replies with I don't know what you're talking about, then she might not be ready for this discussion."
But what's the line between being a supportive friend and enabling her bad boy–chasing behavior? "If you really care about your friend, then you may just have to continue to stand beside her until she figures it out for herself," says Yager. "If she asks you about her situation or even tells you she's in emotional turmoil, then she's opening the door." When that happens, she says that you might want to suggest a therapist who helped someone you trust with a similar situation, or recommend a book to her that deals with this type of behavior.
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