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Caroline Rules

Is Valentine's Day Necessary?

Caroline Manzo puts the real in The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and her fans relate to the reality star's no-nonsense attitude, focus on family and, above all, abundant common sense. In this column, Caroline helps solve your most pressing dilemmas.

The Dilemma: How important is Valentine's Day in keeping romance alive in a relationship, specifically a marriage? Many women are married to men who don't put a lot of stock in this holiday, or might even forget it altogether. Some may be expecting grand gestures from their partners that never materialize. When it comes to the "day of love," should women insist on celebrating for the sake of getting to take part in the holiday or be more realistic about how most men feel about it: that it's too commercialized or silly?

Caroline's Ruling: I have one thing to say: If you depend of Valentine's Day to be the end-all fix-it in a relationship, you've got problems.

To me Valentine's Day is just a silly way of showing your significant other how much you care. It should be a lighthearted, fun day. Simple gestures like flowers, a card or candy are more than adequate. I've seen people stress over the day like it was an economic summit that would affect the future of the human race. Why?

Valentine's Day should be every day! Every day you should show your love and appreciation for each other in some way. An extra-long hug, a cup of coffee, warming up your wife's car, a smile, a phone call to say I love you … the list is endless. These little things go a long way and usually make your heart smile. That's how you keep romance alive. Dinner, flowers and chocolate once a year does not a romance make, especially if you're shoving it down your partner's throat.

Be understanding of your partner's personality. If Valentine's Day is not a big deal to him/her, it has no bearing on their feelings for you. I would much rather have a person who loves me and shows me that love 365 days a year in a million different ways than a person who sends me roses one day a year because it's what's expected.

Bottom line is this: March to the beat of your own drum. Do what makes you happy as a couple. Breakfast in bed, flowers, balloons, a pat on the back, handshake or a marching band—doesn't matter. Remember what counts can never be bought; it comes from the heart. And that, my friends, is yours and yours alone. Treasure it.

  • From marriage dilemmas to family issues, Caroline's got the answers!

    Photo by Michael T. Greco
Caroline Rules
Is Valentine's Day Necessary?
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