How Do I Find a Good Man?
Caroline Manzo puts the real in The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and her fans relate to the reality star's no-nonsense attitude, focus on family and, above all, abundant common sense. Check back at Glo every Monday as Caroline helps solve your most pressing dilemmas.
The Dilemma: "As a young lady in this era, what do I should look for when dating? What should be some guidelines for us younger women to keep in mind? And how are we supposed to know if a particular man can have great potential?" – Ashley
Caroline's Ruling: Oh my God, I love this question! Ashley, you've given me hope that there are still some kids out there today who have their heads on straight. It's so discouraging to see the standards of what makes a “good catch” these days. So much emphasis is placed on looks, money, cars, partying and living large. Listen, I get it: You're young, you should have fun and enjoy yourself, but one of these days you're going to wake up and realize you want more. It's called growing up.
If I could stress one point, it would be to take your time and don't rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Trust me, if you're 26 and single, it's not the end of the world; you've got a couple of good years left in you!
A great-looking guy/girl is certainly nice, but outward beauty fades over time. A beautiful person on the inside will always shine and be beautiful in your eyes. If you can get both, jackpot! If not … jackpot! Remember, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
You need to evaluate what you want out of life. If you want to have a home with a white picket fence and children, I wouldn't suggest you date someone with a profile on gigolo.com. People generally don't change after a certain point in life, and the biggest mistake you can make is thinking that marriage will mold your partner into what you want them to be. Obviously there are some things that may change, but a complete 180? Not gonna happen. ...Read More
I'm going to share something with you that I always was very conscious of when dating. It was very important to me that the person I ultimately wound up with shared the same goals as I did. I wanted a family. I wanted someone who would respect me for who I was and not what they wanted me to be. I wanted someone who would always make me feel safe and loved. I wanted someone to encourage me to follow my dreams and help make them a reality. I wanted someone with a good work ethic so my children would be provided for. I wanted someone who would make me laugh. In turn, I would do the same for him. To me it was about mutual respect, encouragement, teamwork, communication, sharing a common goal and, most of all, commitment.
I still laugh when I think about it. I found this in a heavy guy named Albert who had his hair parted on the side, wore a giant gold medallion and couldn't put an outfit together to save his life. To me he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
We suffered some growing pains along the way for sure, but 30 years later we have three gorgeous kids and live a good life. He's bald but thinner, and I'm no longer 94 pounds and have a couple of wrinkles on my face and some cellulite here and there. He tells me every day how beautiful I am, and when he tells me my eyes are beautiful, I know it's because I'm looking at him. It's been a long journey filled with ups and downs, laughter, tears, heartache and triumph.
The moral of my story? I kissed some toads before I found my prince; he's not perfect, but he's perfect for me. Take your time and find your perfectly imperfect person who will make your heart smile whenever he walks into a room.
Do you have a question for Caroline?
Send it to CarolineRulesOnGlo@gmail.com and it may be selected for an upcoming column!
From marriage dilemmas to family issues, Caroline's got the answers!Photo by Michael T. Greco
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