My Boyfriend's Mom Hates Me
Caroline Manzo puts the real in The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and her fans relate to the reality star's no-nonsense attitude, focus on family and, above all, abundant common sense. Check back at Glo every Monday as Caroline helps solve your most pressing dilemmas.
The Dilemma: I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. We've had our ups and downs, but one of the more pressing issues is his mother. She lives out of state, so we don't see her often, but she's said several times to my boyfriend that she hates me! It makes me feel horrible because I have always been respectful to her. Recently, she expressed her dislike for me by calling me on my phone and telling me off. As a result, my boyfriend didn't speak to her for five months. I'm afraid that if my boyfriend and I get engaged, then this will be the norm. What should I do? —L
Caroline's Ruling: I'm curious to know: Has she ever voiced her reasons for disliking you and, if so, have you addressed them with her in a rational manner? I'm hoping the answer is yes; you need to have a conversation
If you can truthfully say that you've never said or done anything to substantiate this woman's feelings toward you, then continue taking the high road, being cordial and respectful when you speak to her. Don't add fuel to the fire.
I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend and his mom stopped speaking for a while because of this. If it was her decision, then she's really got some issues. If it was his, then don't let him do that again. It's great that your boyfriend defends you and your relationship, and he should absolutely tell his mother how he feels. However, they should agree to disagree, not estrange themselves to one another. It only deepens the problem and causes additional resentment toward you on her end.
To think that you would consider not moving forward with an engagement is ridiculous! You have a relationship with your boyfriend, not his mother. Keep the two separate. If you have to vent, then call a girlfriend or relative. Don't allow her negativity to put a haze on the time you spend together.
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From marriage dilemmas to family issues, Caroline's got the answers!Photo by Michael T. Greco