Caroline Rules: How to Forgive a Grandparent
"Real Housewife" Caroline Manzo responds to readers' toughest questions
I can certainly understand your hesitation to forgive your grandfather. It must have been very hard for you to watch your dad suffer over the years.
Forgiving your grandfather isn't going to be easy. It's going to take time and a great deal of self-awareness to do this. You have two choices: You can harbor your feelings of resentment and anger, which will ultimately take a toll on you emotionally, or you can start the process of trying to forgive.
ON GLO: How to Shed Resentment
I would suggest taking baby steps. Look at it this way: You are making the conscious decision to let go of all the anger, pain and resentment you're feeling toward your grandfather. I understand that the memories may always stay with you, but don't allow them to fester inside. Remember, you're not denying the history of hurt, and you're not justifying your grandfather's actions either; you're just choosing to let it all go. Your anger is stifling you. In doing so, this will cause a domino effect for everyone around you as well.
Your father is gone, and so is his pain. He left this Earth with a clear conscience, and as a parent, I can tell you this: The last thing he wants is for you to suffer, especially on his behalf. I'm not sure if you have any children or not, but if you do, then I think you'd agree with me on this one.
We all deserve peace in this life. Your father is gone, and the process of hurt has stopped. Honor his memory and make him proud.