9 toughest advice column questions answered
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Good Advice1 of 10
Over the past two years, Caroline Manzo has been sharing her no-nonsense wisdom on dating, family, friendship and more. Take a look at her answers to some of your toughest questions.
I Do?2 of 10
Ask yourself if he makes you happy on an emotional level as well as a physical one. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him—supporting each other through good times and bad, growing emotionally together as a team while maintaining your own identities, letting each other shine as individuals, respecting each other and forgiving the minor flaws, maintaining a physical attraction, and keeping laughter and passion alive no matter how many years you've been together? If the answer is yes, then turn the TV off and relax. If it's no, then you two need to have a serious talk.
Pay Day3 of 10
I'm a firm believer in reaching for the brass ring in life. If you feel your request is warranted, make an appointment to see your employer. Don't be intimidated. Remember, they weren't born into that position; the chances are pretty good that they were in your shoes at some point in their career. Present your case clearly and confidently, and ask for what you want in a professional, direct manner.
Split Decisions4 of 10
Make your parents aware that you will support them through the process, but that there must be set ground rules and boundaries. Let them know that you love them both equally and will remain neutral—in other words, no bashing, no he said, she said. I would guess that this may be a bit of a challenge, so if and when they start "venting," then tell them that you're not interested in hearing the sordid details, but that you'd rather know how they're doing (what was their day like, etc.). Don't fuel the fire by allowing them to put you in the middle.
Great Expectations5 of 10
I have a question for you: Is this a new thing or was your husband always this way? If he was always this way, then you have to be realistic in your expectations. As women, we sometimes put pressure on our men to read our minds and know what we want. Unfortunately, human beings aren't equipped with an electrical panel that can be wired to individual specifications. If your husband's idea of a romantic evening is watching football on the couch, then you may have your work cut out for you. However, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you; it just means that he's wired differently.
Getting Friendly6 of 10
My general theory on this is pretty simple: If you care that much about him, then you have to let him know. To me, it's a risk worth taking. Life is too short to be afraid of living it to its fullest potential.
Body Confidence7 of 10
I feel like we live in a society that puts entirely too much emphasis on “perfection.” There is no perfection. I'd love to know the percentage of magazine photographs that are airbrushed to hide cellulite, bad skin, bald spots, scars, flab and so on. The reality is that we're all human. I'm only 5 feet 1 inch tall. I need a stool to reach the top shelf of the pantry, and when buying clothes, everything needs to be altered. My voice is deep and I sound like a linebacker sometimes—so what? At least when I speak I'm heard. I am what I am and that's all that I am. So are you.
Dating Do-Over8 of 10
I think you first have to give yourself permission to move forward with your life. Let go of any guilt you may be harboring regarding your marriage. Don't look at it as a failure—learn from the experience. Life goes on, and we all deserve to be happy. You have to recognize that your life as you knew it has shifted—go with it. It's like buying a new pair of shoes: You have to break them in before you can walk comfortably in them.
Parental Control9 of 10
I really hate to say this, but your love life is none of your parents' business. Respect them always, but you have to hold your ground and ask them to step aside and let you live your life.
Fighting Fair10 of 10
The best way to handle it is to do nothing. I know this can be very difficult at times, but you're only fueling the fire. Now, having said that, there are times when you do have to respond. If it gets to that point, then your response should be well thought out and, above all else, be calm and nonthreatening. You don't want to ignite the powder keg. Assess this person and the situation at hand with clarity. Take the emotion out of it and really look at it for what it is. You need to look at this person and realize that she has issues that probably have nothing to do with you at all.
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