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When is it OK to date a friend's ex?

Mostly unbiased, always genuine advice from Dear G.

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    Dear G.,

    I have a close friend who has moved across the country and is living with her new boyfriend. She seems happy and finally over her ex. She's even talking about getting engaged. (A little background: She and her ex were together for a little over a year, but they broke up almost three years ago.) I recently ran into her ex at a local café and there was definitely a spark between us. I've always felt like we had some connection, to be honest. I couldn't help but think that running into him was somehow fate, and I needed to seize the opportunity, so I emailed him afterwards.

    Since then, I did tell my friend about seeing her ex, but I left the part out about emailing him. Now he and I are supposed to meet at the café—just to catch up. Am I obligated tell my friend? And if I do, does she have a right to be upset about things?

    Sincerely,

    Twisted Up Over Fate

    ***

    Dear Twisted,

    Fate is a slippery slope, especially when you use it to justify your own behavior. Imagine a man explaining to his wife that falling for his hot, young assistant was FAATE (!?!), as if it were some force entirely beyond his control.

    But, OK, let's say for a minute that it was fate that you ran into your friend's ex. Then why email him? Why not just let fate run its course?

When is it OK to date a friend's ex?
Mostly unbiased, always genuine advice from Dear G.
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