Do You Need To Get Over Yourself?
Signs You Need To Stop Complaining And Make A Change
2. You complain to avoid change instead of taking action.
"Complaining about the same thing over and over may make you feel like you're doing something about a problem, but it just keeps you stuck pretending that you might," she says. "Either you want things to be different or you don't. If you do, then stop talking and do something different."
But if you do need to air real grievances, then make sure you're at least doing it to the right person. For example, a person who continually complains to her friends about her significant other typically doesn't want to risk talking to her partner, for fear of discovering that their relationship won't ever be what she wants it to be, says Renaye. "If you keep quiet, you can pretend the relationship might still work out," she says. "Let's get a clue here. If you can't talk to him, it already isn't working out. Time to have the talk or move on."