• Cover: July 28, 2014
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Getting Over Post-Wedding Jitters

How to conquer your ten biggest marriage fears

Page: 3 of 6
  • 4. "I'll forget about the person I once was."

    When you become a wife and mother, you assume these new roles and may feel you've lost your individuality. "To keep your identity and still be a good partner, seek a balance between things you do for yourself, with your partner and with family," says Dr. Tessina. Treat "me time" as seriously as you'd treat a doctor's appointment, says Dr. Tessina. Hire a sitter, if necessary, and make detailed plans, choosing what you'll wear and bring and where you'll go in advance. Because if you just think, "I should take some time for myself this week" without plotting it out, you're not likely to go through with it.

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    5. "Sex will get less exciting and frequent."

    The days of having hot, spontaneous sex seem like a distant memory. “That happens at the beginnings of relationships when everything else is in suspended animation. You don't do the laundry or call your parents," says Dr. Greer. But once you're in the relationship, it becomes, "not today, I have to finish this report." The solution? Schedule sex. It may sound silly to type "sex" into your online calendar, but Dr. Greer says it works, and the anticipation itself can put you in the mood. "We're always making plans for pleasure (vacations, dinner reservations), so why shouldn't sex—the most pleasurable of activities—get the same attention?" she says.

Getting Over Post-Wedding Jitters
How to conquer your ten biggest marriage fears
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