It's a New Year, Dear
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A Couple Resolutions1 of 11
By Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn, real-life married couple and coauthors of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up ... A Love Story
Another year has come and gone … along with all of our last year’s New Year’s resolutions. So let’s wipe the slate clean and try, try again.
Do the Opposite2 of 11
He says: My first reaction to most things is anger, my second is frustration, and my third is bitterness. This year I want to do the exact opposite, like how George Costanza did on an unforgettable episode of Seinfeld. Instead of anger, I’m going to be calm; instead of frustration, happiness; in place of bitterness, I will have acceptance. How am I going to be able to achieve this? I do not yet know.
Improve My Marriage3 of 11
She says: I’m going to vow to go the extra mile this year, even if that means doing more listening — something I’ve always felt steals valuable time from talking. I’ll try to make sure that we have our date night, have more sex, laugh and find time to massage each other’s feet, and I’ll drive the carpool more often. OK, is it next year yet? I’m already exhausted!
Make More Time4 of 11
He says: Every year I have less and less time left to do all the things I want to do before I run out of time, so why is it that I insist on checking my Facebook page every five minutes? By cutting back on the stupid amounts of time I spend on Facebook, I’ll have more time to, say, write ten new novels or perhaps even develop my strategy for peace in the Middle East.
Eat Less, Drink Less5 of 11
He says: I am well aware that this is a standard resolution, but as we get older, our bodies crave more and more food in order to help maintain our aging, decaying, sedentary lifestyle. Thus, if I am to shrink my expanding late-forties face down to its svelte, early-thirties dimensions, I’ve got to basically cut way back on wine and eat only when I feel like I’m going to pass out.
Allow Dietary Cheating6 of 11
She says: Everything I eat this year will fall into the three most important food groups: fried, battered and chocolate-coated. OK, maybe not fried and battered, but if I can’t eat chocolate once in a while I’m just not happy, so what’s the point? Chocolate will be in my 2011 diet plan, so while I might not get thinner, at least I won’t feel guilty for cheating.
Be a Good Husband7 of 11
He says: I’ve learned after nearly 15 years of marriage that you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what she needs. That’s being a better husband. To my wife, a good husband doesn’t criticize or nitpick, honk the horn at dumb drivers or swim in the seas of self-pity when he doesn’t get what he wants. (Things I do all the time.)
De-Mess My Office8 of 11
He says: My office looks like the basement storage facility of the National Museum of Clutter. I’m not just a pack rat; I’m also disorganized, distracted and lazy. I have to do something to reorganize and clear and clean my office before I go in one day and literally disappear under all of my detritus.
WATCH NOW: Make Time For Family
Meditate9 of 11
She says: I just took a meditation class, and it was great. Until I tried it on my own the next day. Here is what went through my head: "I’m great at this…. I need to schedule that dentist appointment this week…. I love the smell of lavender…. I wonder what Natalie Portman is going to look like pregnant?" I vow to practice at least until I stop thinking about celebrities while trying to relax.
Make a Gratitude List10 of 11
She says: A lot of people have recommended this, and I am going to try it this year. Topping my list right now is my gratitude that it’s a new year with a new chance to be more grateful.
For more from Annabelle and Jeff, go to their website
Spend Quality Time11 of 11
She says: At 12, our son doesn’t really want to spend time with me unless I'm buying him sneakers or driving him to hang out with his friends. However, if I pick him up from school (relieving my husband of part of the day’s carpool), then drive the kid to the yogurt place, I can get a chocolate frozen yogurt, sit in my car and mediate while I wait to drive him home, grateful that at least I have a front-row seat to watch him have fun with his friends.