Why He's Afraid to Say "I Do"
8 things that terrify men when it comes to marriage
2. You'll turn into your (or his!) mother.
He loves the charming qualities you possess that remind him of his mom—like your superhero parenting skills and incredible work ethic—but he doesn't want (or need) two mothers. Likewise, there are probably a few things about your mother that get on his nerves. And many husbands worry their wives will inherit those characteristics, says Karen Sherman, PhD, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It and Make It Last. She suggests acknowledging the situation with something like, "I know my mother annoys you sometimes. Let me know if you notice me doing those same things." It's a simple way to allay this fear.
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3. You'll talk badly about him with your friends.
Mike of St. Louis, MO, felt that his wife Jessica was using her girlfriends as a sounding board when the couple was going through a rough patch in their marriage. "While I'm all for my wife having a shoulder to lean on when we're fighting, I hate thinking she's having a husband bashing-session with her buddies." Our pals are our emotional support system, but running to them after every marital argument usually means you're looking for them to side with you. "The problem with that is it reinforces what a 'bad' guy your husband is," says Orlov. Instead, take the issue up with your spouse, recommends Orlov. You'll learn more about each other and boost your bond.
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