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Shacking Up

Questions to ask before you move in together

Page: 5 of 5
  • Your place or mine?

    In a word: neither.

    His place would always be his place and mine would be mine. Unless there's some mitigating factor (like one of you owns your place or has an insanely good deal on an amazing rent-controlled apartment), then moving in should require both parties to actually move, preferably to a place with hardwood floors and lots of light.

    What are your intentions?

    You don't get to be a woman in her mid-30s without hearing that thing about "not buying the cow when you can get the milk for free" at least a few times. The saying presumes far too much—like that a woman of course wants to get married and that a man doesn't. I, for one, am not 100 percent sold on marriage. It sounds nice, but not necessary, at least not right away. What I would like to know is that my boyfriend and I are both making a conscious decision about cohabitation (see page one, third paragraph).

    Part of growing up means slowing down. I'm in less of a rush now than I was in my mid-20s. I know that when it comes to relationships, making strict plans and plotting out arbitrary timelines is of little use. Instead, being honest and thoughtful about where you're both at now, today, in this very moment, is the best way to move forward.

Shacking Up
Questions to ask before you move in together
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