Should you trust your gut?
The Situation: Your brother invites you to dinner to meet his new girlfriend. Everyone in the family seems to love her, but there's just something about her that you don't like: her fancy clothes, the way she ordered her wine, her high-pitched laugh. You hate to say it, but even though your brother seems happy, you don't have a good feeling about her.
The Outcome: While your initial perception of your brother's new girlfriend might be correct, most of your wariness is based on biases, which can color your intuition.
"People often aren't really honest with themselves about what they're feeling," says Ayton, reminding us that we often judge others based on our prior experiences and association. As Ayton explains, it can be difficult to "separate intuition from reactions to a specific memory."
Your subconscious prejudices you against, in this case, a woman in fancy clothes. She might actually be a great match for your brother, but in this first encounter, you're only noticing the particular negatives.
In cases such as these, sometimes we have to trust other people. Your brother says he's really happy. Your mother has never been so thrilled. It's hard to override your gut instinct, but you need to be really honest with yourself about where your feelings are coming from, says Ayton.
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