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How to Deal With a Friend's or Family Member's Divorce

Page: 8 of 10
  • A divorce among your circle of friends is leading to a lot of ugly gossip about the separating couple.

    Do your best to not go there. Whether your husband wants to share the "ex's side," your friend is prodding you for dirt on her ex, or a mutual friend wants to dish about everyone involved, firmly opt out, says Lancer. It's just never a good idea to indulge in negative divorce gossip, for everyone involved (particularly the couple's children). Say to people other than your friend that you'd rather not be caught in the crossfire of any gossip for fear it'll come back to you ("He said that you said…").

    It's natural that your friend will want to talk about her divorce, but because you care about her and are concerned about her emotional wellbeing, avoid the urge to tell her the latest rumors about her ex or trash talk him. "Say to her, 'I don't think talking to you about Frank is good for you, and it's not good for our friendship, which I value,' and change the subject," says Lancer. If you truly can't resist telling someone, or if you feel you need to relieve the pressure of knowing too much, then share your news with a disinterested third party so no one gets hurt.

Split Happens
How to Deal With a Friend's or Family Member's Divorce
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