The Husband Whisperer
4 Tricks to Communicating With Your Man
It may seem like a small victory, and the results aren't always perfect, but little things like this are a giant step for my peace of mind.
3. Play the empathy card. Another key to being a good Husband Whisperer, I found, is getting your spouse to empathize with your situation. Better to say, for example, that you can't relax and spend time with him or the kids until the dinner dishes are washed than, “Why don't you ever help with the dishes?” Not only do gentler words encourage your husband to see through your bleary eyes, they allow him to come to your rescue — something men take pride in doing for women.
Michelle Maidenberg, Ph.D., director of the Westchester Group Works, a group therapy center in White Plains, New York, told me that she plays the empathy card with her own husband — like the time she'd repeatedly asked him to put their kids' sleds in the garage. Unlike her, he wasn't at all bothered by sleds scattered on the front lawn like some kind of winter yard sale. A day went by, then two, then a week. “I must have asked him 10 times,” she recalls.
Then she explained: “It's difficult for me to lift the sleds and carry them down the stairs,” she told him.
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