Tips For a Drama-Free Divorce
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All's Well That Ends Well1 of 8
One of the most painful experiences a person can go through is divorce. Dr. Michael Finkelstein, M.D., founder of Sun Raven, a wellness center in New York, has developed a holistic counseling concept called "Skillful Thinking" to help people make mindful choices in tough times. Here are his tips for divorcing as pain-free as possible.
Start Your Evolution2 of 8
Finkelstein says: "View this time as an opportunity for growth and reconnection with your true self. We often have a hard time being alone, however, like the practice of stillness in meditation, loneliness can be an opportunity to get in touch with what's inside. We might actually have the perspective we need to realize something about ourselves that will actually interfere in a more successful relationship in the future."
Accept Change3 of 8
Finkelstein says: "Instead of being apprehensive of the natural changes and evolution in our relationships, we should accept them — even if they’re relatively major changes like divorce. Sometimes we can meet the challenges to advance a relationship and deepen the bonds. At other times, we need to let a relationship go. Both are opportunities for growth."
Accept Uncertainty4 of 8
Finkelstein says: "Reorganization, even when necessary and desirable, often creates instability. This is simply a fact of life. It is more skillful, however, to anticipate this and prepare mentally to deal with uncertainty."
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Don't Isolate5 of 8
Finkelstein says: "Instead, build a solid support community, whether it’s a social group, religious organization, club or nearby family. While some period of aloneness is desirable, don't pull away completely. Especially when we are temporarily separated from a significant-other-type-relationship we benefit from the intimacy that could be cultivated within a community."
Discard Material Fears6 of 8
Finkelstein says: "Will your financial and material goals really bring lasting satisfaction or ease discomfort? While we all need a certain core amount of financial security for food, clothing, shelter and basic fulfillment, we also easily fall victim to the consumerism mindset and connect happiness with wealth. After a point, money cannot buy happiness."
Be Mindful Of The New Dynamic7 of 8
Finkelstein says: "No matter what transpires, each person deserves the respect to find fulfillment in an autonomous fashion. This applies to children, too: Despite any hard feelings, children should be respected as seedlings that need both their father and mother to achieve their potential. Divorce tests the integrity of each parent."
Deal With Anger8 of 8
Finkelstein says: "Lingering anger will be a cancer in your system and it is best to let it go. If one does not effectively express, e.g. release, anger, it builds up inside. This can manifest with a medical condition, such as high blood pressure or even cancer. It is wise to accept that buried emotions can bury you!"
For more tips from Dr. Finkelstein, visit his website, here.