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Vow of Silence

What You Should Never Say to Your Best Friend

Page: 3 of 9
  • "That guy you're dating? Not marriage material!"

    Lisa's* friend asked her opinion about a new beau, and she gave him the thumbs-down—with friendship-fizzling results. "My pal ended up marrying the guy, and now she's distant," says Lisa. "I thought I was being a good friend by pointing out the facts, but I should have listened to my dad's reminder, 'Everyone chooses their own sweetheart,' and kept my mouth shut."

    If your friend's guy seems like a bad choice to you—but she hasn't asked your opinion—then keep your judgments to yourself. Aside from having hard evidence about serious stuff (like he has a wife and kids in another city, or is a drug dealer, for example), you really don't know if he's "wrong" for her. If she does ask what you think, then "turn it back to her," suggests Melton. Try, I don't know him as well as you do. Tell me what you like and don't like about him. Then you can base what you say on her response, so your thoughts don't seem out of the blue.

    ON WOMAN'S DAY: Marriage "Rules" You Can Break

Vow of Silence
What You Should Never Say to Your Best Friend
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