• Cover: November 26, 2014
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Vow of Silence

What You Should Never Say to Your Best Friend

Page: 6 of 9
  • "How dare you not tell me [you bought a new car/got a new job/met a new guy]!"

    On the one hand, says Glass, "It's reasonable to feel slighted if your good friend doesn't share news with you." It's expressing your anger over being left out that's a no-no. "Some friends don't keep you posted on everything for reasons that have nothing to do with you," says Melton. Saying something like this makes the situation all about how you feel excluded, not about what's happening in your friend's life.

    When you do hear your pal's good news, just tell her, I'm so happy for you. If this happens often and you worry that your friend is keeping updates from you, then open up a discussion about it. Could it be that you haven't been that enthusiastic about her news in the past, or that you've shared her info with others without her permission? See what you could do differently before scolding her for not filling you in.

Vow of Silence
What You Should Never Say to Your Best Friend
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