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First Impressions

What men really think of your online dating profile

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  • You say: I'm extremely picky.

    He hears: I have unrealistic expectations for potential partners, and it's unlikely that you'll make me happy.

    Men fear rejection. Telling him right off the bat that you're fussy significantly decreases the chances he'll contact you. "Men are going to be too intimidated to reach out," says Davis. While she admits women receive far more messages than men on online dating sites, she warns you may miss out on a guy who otherwise likes your profile but is turned off by your statement. "It shows you're close-minded," says Davis. "Negativity attracts negativity." So keep this one out of your profile and simply screen messages to see if the men meet your standards.

    You say: Don't worry, we can lie and say we met in real life.

    He hears: I'm embarrassed that I'm on this dating website and would never want to tell our friends or family. In fact, I don't think I can actually meet you.

    "If you feel like you have to say this you're probably unsure about online dating to begin with," says Davis. That means he might worry he'll invest time messaging you only to find you won't meet in person. He's on there too, and likely so are some of your friends and colleagues, so there's no need to be embarrassed. Besides, "starting your relationship based on a lie isn't the best way to begin 'happily ever after,'" says Davis. "If he's willing to hide how you met from friends and family, what might he hide from you?"

First Impressions
What men really think of your online dating profile
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