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Oh, No You Didn't

10 things never to say to a single mom

Page: 5 of 6
  • 7. "I don't know how you do it!"

    This is often meant as a compliment, but it can sound more like an insult when put this way. "It makes it seem like raising my son is a chore," says Mareesa Hernandez, a single mom to a four-year-old in Cliffside Park, NJ. "I would never ask a married mom how she does it because I think motherhood is hard but also rewarding." Instead of asking a single mom how she manages, say something that shows you admire her. "Tell me I'm doing a good job! Or that my son is well-mannered and that must be a reflection of me. We appreciate your thoughtful pats on the back—not so much your questions and stunned faces."

    8. "Do you use child support money for yourself?"

    In general, single moms don't use child support dollars on getting their hair and nails done. "Courts award child support to help take care of a child's needs—and both parents' incomes are taken into account to determine how much a parent has to pay," explains Edgar. “Not that it's anyone's business, but a better question would be, 'Does his father contribute to supporting your child?'" If you don't have the audacity to ask your best friend what her checking account balance is, you shouldn't ask a single mom about child support—a personal legal matter.

Oh, No You Didn't
10 things never to say to a single mom
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